I’m just not overly happy right now. Maybe that’s why I am not blogging as much. I always like to paint the pretty picture and write about the fun and happy things and truthfully I am just not that pleasant lately. I am downright pissy.
My husband is on days off right now and we just cannot get along. It is so hard to adjust to each other when he is gone for a month at a time. He wants to just have fun and do nothing when he is home, which I am all for -to an extent. But there are a few things I need help with and a few things that need fixing that I just can’t do myself and I know that if they don’t get done, they will sit, unfinished, for another month. So my list with very few, not hard, things sits. Today is his last day off and he is golfing and drinking with friends. After a decade of being together, shouldn’t it be getting easier? Shouldn’t we have settled into that groove?
I find myself struggling with parenting our oldest son. It is a constant battle every day. Maybe it is because he is in that preteen stage. Maybe it is because he is my stepson. Maybe he just does it for attention. I honestly don’t know why he acts up so much and is so defiant when it comes to listening. It is very, very hard. He is going to a bible camp next week for a few days, so this will be good for both of us. He can relax and have fun with other kids his age and I can lighten up and destress for a few days.
Twenty days until school starts. I have a lot to get done and teach the twins before then. We need to work on buttoning, tying, writing, cutting, etc. This summer has flown by. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself once they are all in school. Our school district is an everyday, all day Kindergarten, so the twins will be gone the same hours as the older ones. I am hoping to “find myself” during this time. The last 10 years has been all about children and pregnancy. My entire 20s have been devoted to being a mother and a wife. I am not complaining, I just am starting to look forward to this next period of my life. I want to lose weight and get in shape before I turn the big 3-0 in January. I would like to take photography classes. I have lots I would like to do to our house -maybe even get on top of things instead of always feeling so far behind on everything. That would be a great feeling.
So family life is kind of sucky right now, but it is good to know that maybe, just maybe, there will be time to breathe in a few weeks.