Seriously Blah.

I’m just not overly happy right now. Maybe that’s why I am not blogging as much. I always like to paint the pretty picture and write about the fun and happy things and truthfully I am just not that pleasant lately. I am downright pissy.

My husband is on days off right now and we just cannot get along. It is so hard to adjust to each other when he is gone for a month at a time. He wants to just have fun and do nothing when he is home, which I am all for -to an extent. But there are a few things I need help with and a few things that need fixing that I just can’t do myself and I know that if they don’t get done, they will sit, unfinished, for another month. So my list with very few, not hard, things sits. Today is his last day off and he is golfing and drinking with friends. After a decade of being together, shouldn’t it be getting easier? Shouldn’t we have settled into that groove?

I find myself struggling with parenting our oldest son. It is a constant battle every day. Maybe it is because he is in that preteen stage. Maybe it is because he is my stepson. Maybe he just does it for attention. I honestly don’t know why he acts up so much and is so defiant when it comes to listening. It is very, very hard. He is going to a bible camp next week for a few days, so this will be good for both of us. He can relax and have fun with other kids his age and I can lighten up and destress for a few days.

Twenty days until school starts. I have a lot to get done and teach the twins before then. We need to work on buttoning, tying, writing, cutting, etc. This summer has flown by. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself once they are all in school. Our school district is an everyday, all day Kindergarten, so the twins will be gone the same hours as the older ones. I am hoping to “find myself” during this time. The last 10 years has been all about children and pregnancy. My entire 20s have been devoted to being a mother and a wife. I am not complaining, I just am starting to look forward to this next period of my life. I want to lose weight and get in shape before I turn the big 3-0 in January. I would like to take photography classes. I have lots I would like to do to our house -maybe even get on top of things instead of always feeling so far behind on everything. That would be a great feeling.

So family life is kind of sucky right now, but it is good to know that maybe, just maybe, there will be time to breathe in a few weeks.

  • Claudious

    It breaks my heart to see someone down. I find it’s hard to adjust to being at home when I should be off to work, it is tempting to ask everyone to share my little holiday… but I still hate to be the only one not working.

    I’m glad to meet you blog, and I hope to come back often.

  • The Epps Family

    Awwwww, man. Sorry you feel down. Don’t stress too much about your pre-teen. It’s an epidemic they all suffer. Also, my son is starting K on the 11th, too! He will be at the same school where I am the school librarians! Tomorrow is my bday, and since I am preggo, I was able to avoid the lose weight goal. After the baby comes, I am going to “BOOT CAMP.” Things will get better soon. Hang in there!

  • Alice Jane

    I think one of the hard things about being a parent is never having time for myself and then when I step back and look at myself, I realize that I’m out of shape, need to get my hair done, and my clothes are 5 years out of style. One day I’ll catch up. Ha!

    I think it is great that you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your chin up..even though it really sucks. :)

  • cherish.photography

    So sorry Lissa….but if it helps…been there…done that! I love my hubby so much, but he sometimes just gets on my nerves. I think it is part of the process God has for us to make women the superior being :) hahahahaha!

  • Anonymous

    Love ya Lissa.

    Meg

  • *Lissa*

    Aw, love ya too Meg. Thanks for the good company tonight!! ;o)

  • Two blessings from above

    I know the feeling! I hope this week is a better one for you.

  • La Familia Garcia

    Hopefully this BLAH feeling has passed? But I love the realness of this post! And your photography! I’m so glad your taking classes..cause you’ll be so great! We serve an awesome God who cares for our every need! May He draw you to himself today and lift you up!